Shark Heaven, Right beside People Heaven

So, last night was the Super Bowl, if you didn't know by the thousands of tweets and Facebook statuses.

This is what Michael asked me a few days ago.
"Will you be my Super Bowl date? You know, I heard they are kind of a big deal... and meaningful." (I think he added the meaningful part because I told him he needs to be more romantic so now he twists everything into 'being romantic')
I guess inviting your girlfriend to take part in the holiest and most sacred event of all manhood is a big deal.

His dads brother, Roger, and his wife,Nicki , and their two boys Cole and Reid were both coming as well.
Let me just say these are the cutest boys in the WORLD. I might be the only one that has these thoughts, but I love when I meet little kids, and I probably don't even know them very well yet, but I just know they are going to grow up and be smart and beautiful and amazing and will do something great, and be wonderful people because of the way I see their parents are raising them. This is what I felt when I met Cole and Reid for the first time last summer.

Cole is autistic. Maybe I just feel more drawn to hime because Autism therapy is what I really want to pursue. But he is great.

When I got to Michael's house I went in and sat at their breakfast bar thing and was talking to his mom and their aunt. Cole walked in a looked at me for a second, kind of studying me. Then his mom asked him if he remembered me from when we shot fireworks over the summer. He said he remembered and then she told him my name and asked him to repeat it so that he would remember. Then he just walked up like he'd met me a thousand times and started talking away.
Right now I guess he is really into the movie Sharks Tale. His mom said because one of the sharks in it dies,he is kind of fascinated with death for the moment.
He had these two little lego sharks that were like the ones off the movie. One of them's name was Frankie. He told me about Shakrs tale, and how Frankie got run over by a boat and then he talked about Percy Jackson and the Olympians, and then he turned to his mom and said something like,
"Mom, since Frankie died, he went to Heaven right?" and she said yes of course. But then he said "But not people Heaven though, shark heaven, which is right beside people heaven."
I just really liked it. I also really felt priveledged that he would talk to me.
Mrs. Nicki turned to her husband after Cole walked out to go play and said" Roger! Did you see him? He just walked right up and started talking to Elyse! I guess she's a keeper!"
Later we were talking about our pets or something and I asked her what their dog's name was, and she said Thunder. I thought that was an original name, and she told me that Cole named him because he said that he is really scared of thunder, so if he named him Thunder he wouldn't be scared anymore.

I am now more pumped than ever to start studying this and working with amazing people. I can't even describe it. Michael told me that his aunt said when it gets warmer that he can come play basketball with Reid and I can come hang out with her and Cole for a day. I can't wait.

One of my teachers at school suggested some books that I read by this woman who has Autism and how she describes her workings with animals in conjunction with her conditon. I'm ordering the books now.

It was just a good night.

The Knots Prayer

Dear God,

Please untie the knots

that are in my mind,

my heart and my life.

Remove the have nots,

the can nots and the do nots

that I have in my mind.

Erase the will nots,

may nots,

might nots that may find

a home in my heart.

Release me from the could nots,

would nots and

should nots that obstruct my life.

And most of all,

Dear God,

I ask that you remove from my mind,

my heart and my life all of the 'am nots'

that I have allowed to hold me back,

especially the thought

that I am not good enough.

Amen

Let go

I've always generally concidered myself a rather put together person. Not a perfect person, by far, but one who at least had, what seemed to be, control, of my life. But now it seems I can't really control anything. I know that I shouldn't try to be 'controling' things and that I should just let go and let God, but sometimes thats a hard thing for me to grasp. The stress and uncertainty of my future is really getting to me and I think its impeeding my decisions about simple daily tasks. Plus, my extreme case of Senioritis isn't helping at all. Someitmes people ask me why I go to the gym all the time. One, my extreme fear of being fat, but mostly because its the only sense of normalcy and is a time where I don't have to think about anything but my body.
I seem to be angry alot lately. Not really at a particular person, but just me and my inability to do the right thing, make the right decision, always be there for my friends, or talk to people.
I'm one of those people who will hold things in and put up an I'm-happy-and-nothing-is-wrong front, which generally seems to work. But sometimes it seems to be cracking. I feel like its making me bitter and calloused. I sincerely wish I had someone to talk to about this. I KNOW that if I went to Hannah or Gaby they would listen and hug me and try their best to understand and all the stuff that girls do when they have a problem, but I just don't know if they would really understand. The only people that I could talk to, it seems that I have hurt, and I don't know how to fix it. And its killing me.

I just want to go back to the end of junior year. I think its really the last time I had a grip on my life.

Here's Why

I love my friends. ALL of them.
I consider myself to have a lot of friends, and they are all very different people. Some are people that my other friends might not normally hang around. But thats okay to me.
Sometimes, and seems alot at present, people ask me why I hang out with that girl, or why I am so close friends with him.

I don't believe that we initially make friends on the qualities we don't like in people. I believe we see something in another person that we like, or that is similar to us, and we embrace it.

Maybe by having friends they fill a place in you where qualities you don't like or don't have are missing. Its not possible for someone to love and adore every single quality about someone, nor about themselves.But the things I do love in others are why I'm friends with them.

When we hurt eachother, we should write it down in the sand, so the winds of forgiveness can make it go away for good. When we help eachother we should chisle it in stone, lest we never forget the love of a friend. -Christian H. Godefroy

Can miles truely separate you from friends.... if you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? -Richard Bach

Dumbfounded

So tonight I went to a party... one that didn't involve baking cookies and watching movies and making crazy videos... and Some people are just awful. I love the guy whose birthday it was and it wasn't him who bothered me. Some of the dancing I can understand but ... REALLY?

I love being out in public with my boyfriend because I like to show him off, and I know thats weird, but thats about the only thing I got out of tonight.

Its bad when your embarrassed not about yourself... but for someone else.

I had so much more fun before the party when I was at one of my long-time best friend's surprise birthday dinner.

Hmph

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
-Reinhold Niebuhr

For the past few weeks I've been having an internal battle with myself over alot of things. Alot of times I have a hard time doing whats best for me, versus doing whats best for other people. I guess sometimes I figure doing whats best for me can wait, but maybe whats best for the other person or people could maybe better them or a situation now. Who knows...

I hate snow. ALOT.

I want to go to school.

I'm so happy the Auburn won the National Championship. The South ROCKS.

I have another entry I wanted to write instead of this, but I figured it will probably be rather extensive, and I'm exhausted, and my back hurts from shoveling the 'Winter Wonderland' off our driveway. Hmph.

Am I the only one who looks up quotes to match their mood and feelings?
I love quotes.

Until a later date.