I do not understand how people can be so mean, judgmental, and hypocritical.

Thank You

Once again, thank you Jacob Johnson for coming to my porch in the middle of the night and not making me feel like a crazy person. He is the best. I hope everyone has their own Jacob.

"She's my person... If I murdered someone, she is the person I would call to help me drag the corpse across the living room floor. She is my PERSON." -Grey's Anatomy

Hoy

Today I felt very productive. I woke up early, made a smoothie, and then did a quick ab workout. After that I went to Austin to give blood. When they were doing the interview to ask you how much you weigh and your height and all those awkward questions, my guy (who was awesome) noticed that I was O-. Which, if you don’t know, if the universal donor blood type. He told me to wait a second while he went to check on something. When he returned, he said that I could probably do the ALEX machine if I wanted.

The ALEX machine is kind of the opposite of giving platelettes. They stick you just like normal when you are giving blood, but they hook you up to a machine that filters and separates your blood into your platelettes (wbc’s) and plasma (rbc’s). Then it further separates your plasma into two different bags; the new and perfectly functioning rbc’s and the older slightly worn or deformed ones. Then the wbc’s and older rbc’s are returned back to your body. It is really cool. But, what is even cooler is since the blood has already been cleaned and filtered and because I am O-, that blood will go into someone TONIGHT. My guy said that most often, the blood that comes out of the ALEX machine goes to help pre-maturely born babies and that my bag of blood could save up to five babies lives. FIVE. So, of course I was hooked after that. You had to be a certain weight, and I was slightly under, but Craig, my new best friend, added a couple pounds on my paper. Needless to say, I felt amazing after donating, and I hope it helps many many babies.

I passed my physical requirements for lifeguarding this afternoon as well. I am so excited and I hope I get the job.

ALSO, I went to the new branch of my gym that opened for the first time tonight. I have still been going to the old one since the new one opened at the beginning of this year. Everyone keeps telling me how new and sparkly and high tech the new one is, and I have been resistant to change and have continued to go to the old one. Which, in my eyes, is still perfectly good, and perfectly EMPTY most of the time. But, I gave in and went and checked it out tonight.

It has been a good day. I am happy.

I would just really like my friends to come home so we can cuddle on the couch and watch girl movies and eat junk food like no there's tomorrow. I feel very alone.

Sometimes I do not understand why people do the things they do.

“I kept as still as I could. Nothing happened. I did not expect anything to happen. I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is the sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep.”

— My Antonia by Willa Cather

there is no telling how many times I have read this book, honestly

All Time

Tonight I was that weird single girl that spent fifteen dollars and took herself on a date to a movie. Yes, I may have reached an all time low, or high but…

The movie was awesome and hysterical, I could sit cross-legged in the seat, and I could be lazy and eat my un-buttered popcorn out of the bag with my tongue.

No shame. No judgement. No worries.