This is very easily one of the worst weeks of my life. Mainly, if not totally because of me. I have just been mad and pissed off at just about everyone, with myself at the top of the list. I like things to go the way I want them to, even if the situation has nothing at all to do with me. Sometimes I wish I could just make some of other people's decisions, which is dumb of me to think.

Change and spontaneity are two totally different things.

Punctuality IS important.

Even if you change your mind, stick to your word

Sometimes people need you to be nice to them

Don't get angry over stupid stuff.

There are my words to live by for the week. I wish I was different.

On a happier note, I get to babysit two kittens in a couple weeks and I seriously can not wait. I am good at taking care of things. Also, I have made a couple new friends and I like them a lot.

just like church on a sunday, you are so predictable.

and it hurts my heart

with a rose in her hand and a candle on her chest

she put her head on my head and with teary eyes she said:

precious time we have together

with a stone in my heart I stood up and love was gone

All her life she lived in sunshine, dancing through the rain

I saw her down by the 413, my life will never be the same

And I will live my life to love you

I will live my life for you

Throw my heart into the ocean

Darling I'll be true

I love graffiti6

I wonder what goes on in other people's minds. I feel like it can not POSSIBLY be as busy and weird as what runs through mine on a daily basis. Because I think some weird stuff.

Anyways.

Last night I was at a local bands' show at Crossroads in Huntsville and was realizing how thankful I was for people. Which, in itself, was a weird thing to be thinking in a middle of a smokey bar with a ton of drunk people flailing to the pop-punk band performing, but that's what I thought. I don't mean just the people that I hang around all the time, but also the people that you just see every once in a while who you might not even be any more than an acquaintance to.

At one point last night I was standing by myself near the side of the stage, away from the mash pit, and Daniel would occasionally come and nudge my shoulder and just stand by me. And it made me feel a lot better, just to have somebody there.

Another couple is Ronnie and Mrs. Cindy. I am at Coffee & Playhouse almost everyday and I go to quite a few shows, so they see a lot of me. Ronnie is like a goofy big brother and Mrs. Cindy should be called 'Mama Cindy.' They take care of everyone as well as provide a safe and welcoming place for my-age people. I love them. And they make me wonderful coffee, which makes anyone a winner in my book. Oh, and Scott, because he is...Scott.

Also, that Indian guy who greets you as you walk into Walmart, and the people that run Southern Reflections, and the nice lady I have talked to for years in the gym who's name I still don't know.

"i don't really need a date

i have my netflix"

This is why I love my friends.

Things I am grateful for today:

writing

my dogs

coffee

coffee

COFFEE

the new group Idle Warship that I heard in Mary Beth's car

the fact that tomorrow is my friday

And now I can gripe.

The people in my EMT class, well, at least all of those of the male persuasion, are COMPLETE IDIOTS. I hate judging people, but c'mon now, we all do it. And lets face it, if I ever was in cardiac arrest and saw one of these morons walk into my house, I would probably sign a DNR right there. Its that bad. I'm sure they are fantastically nice people.

Actually no, they are arrogant 'THINK-they-know-it-alls.'

Maybe it will get better

But, the girls all seem really sweet, and I LOVE my instructors. It doesn't hurt that they are all about 23. Just saying. Not really. I don't know.

I have been having really weird dreams recently, and I do not like it.

Also, I am learning to crochet. aka, I am learning how to make large un-fixable knots.

I love rap, which is weird, because I am probably about the whitest girl on the planet. I would marry Drake. AND, I heard that Kid Cudi Jay-Z and Kanye might be doing an album.... which would be epic.

I don't know why I felt the need to blog this.

Maybe I just wanted to express how much I AM OBSESSED WITH DRAKE

"Pushing me away so I give her space

Dealing with a heart that I didn’t break

I’ll be there for you, I will care for you

I keep thinking you just don’t know

Trying to run from that, say you’re done with that

On your face girl, it just don’t show

When you’re ready, just say you’re ready

When all the baggage just ain’t as heavy

And the parties over, just don’t forget me

We’ll change the pace and we'll just go slow

You won’t ever have to worry,

You won’t ever have to hide

You've seen all my mistakes

So look me in my eyes"