Excitement.

Last night, I printed out my presentation/ research in a packet that at least 12 pages a piece and gave them to my parents... I didn't really get to give my big speech presentation because they were both asleep at 10:15. So, I just laid it right in front of them, so that they could read it when they woke up.

I was sitting at the table this morning when my walked in and said, "So. Firefighter Elyse huh?"

I cannot explain how excited I am.

I went up to Calhoun this afternoon to see if I could talk to anyone, since no one ever calls me back from that school to make an appointment. I walked into the EMS (emergency medical services) building, which is super nice, and the admissions lady directed me to Mark Branon's office. He is Director of the Allied Health Department, EMS Program Director, a Paramedic, teacher, and probably my new hero .

He was so nice and very helpful. From the time i walked into his office and started talking to him i was so excited. You know that jumpy feeling you get in your tummy when you are happy about something, well thats what i was feeling the whole time and as I was driving home. He said he wouldn't even mind if I came and sat in on a class sometime over the summer!

I just can't even put into words how ecstatic I am right now. NOW, all I have to is wait for someone to drop out of the program at the beginning of August so that I can enroll in the basic EMT classes right away and not have to wait a semester! But even if I do have to wait, I have to do my general education classes sometime anyways!

enlightenment

I have found what I want to do.

It has always been in the back of my mind as something that I thought I would really enjoy, but I thought my friends and parents would think down on me for it.

But I don't care what anyone thinks anymore because I have never before been this excited about something in my life .

Its going to take a lot of work, A LOT. But It will be so very worth it.

I'm almost done with my presentation that I am going to give to my parents to show them that I am serious and that I WANT this.

p.s.- I want to travel really REALLY bad. Someone take me to Europe

mi mente

I have such a longing to travel.

I want to go to Italy SO BAD.

Its like I have an intense love for anything foreign. I've been thinking a lot about Spanish lately, and how I want to keep it up. I don't really want to minor in it or anything because that would require taking a speech class, which in English would terrify me, let alone in another language. But I do want to keep and retain all that I have already learned. So, I'm going to pull out all my flashcards and go over them at least a few times a week. I want to go to Spain or Mexico, or some Spanish speaking country and immerse myself in it.

I want to learn.

I love summer, but most of the times, especially this one for some reason, I feel that my brain seeps out of my ears during the break from school. Maybe its all the Grey's anatomy I have been watching. Although I have been reading alot, and apparently blogging alot in the wee hours of the morning, I need something to learn about.

I'm researching something.

Its a project that I am really excited about, which is good because I haven't been truly excited for something like this in a long time. People are going to make fun of me, I'm sure after they find out, but I really don't care. This project is requiring research, which I LOVE. And, I have to present it to my parents... the hard part.

I might be going to the beach next weekend. Much, MUCH needed.

shore... different than sure

'maggy and milly and molly and may' maggy and milly and molly and may went down to the beach(to play one day) and maggie discovered a shell that sang so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and milly befriended a stranded star whose rays five languid fingers were; and molly was chased by a horrible thing which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and may came home with a smooth round stone as small as a world and as large as alone. For whatever we lose(like a you or a me) its always ourselves we find in the sea E. E. Cummings You Are Tired (I Think) by e.e. cummings You are tired, (I think) Of the always puzzle of living and doing; And so am I. Come with me, then, And we’ll leave it far and far away— (Only you and I, understand!) You have played, (I think) And broke the toys you were fondest of, And are a little tired now; Tired of things that break, and— Just tired. So am I. But I come with a dream in my eyes tonight, And I knock with a rose at the hopeless gate of your heart— Open to me! For I will show you places Nobody knows, And, if you like, The perfect places of Sleep. Ah, come with me! I’ll blow you that wonderful bubble, the moon, That floats forever and a day; I’ll sing you the jacinth song Of the probable stars; I will attempt the unstartled steppes of dream, Until I find the Only Flower, Which shall keep (I think) your little heart While the moon comes out of the sea. - e.e. cummings

I love e.e. cummings. I always have. I love his parentheses. I also love this:

"Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life."
— Bob Marley

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I just got home from an awsome evening of probably the most fun I have had in a long time.

Jacob got home from the Dominican a couple days ago. Thank goodness! I truly, truly adore him to death. He is amazing. So I hung out with him while he told me about his amazing trip and showed me beautiful pictures. Then after, he invited me and Becca to go to this new college bible study study that they were just starting.

I loved the message. It paralleled what we are talking about in church almost exactly. One thing I wish I was better at are: 1. Not getting so embarrassed when I talk. 2. Not letting fear of how something that I say might sound, as long as it is glorifying God. and 3. Being able to pray out loud. I had a little practice on the third during my life group last semester, but I still am not comfortable doing it in a group that I don't know. It was really good, and the leader was amazing and I love his story.

Then us three went on a walk.

We talk about the most random, DISGUSTING things. But that is why I love them. We can all be totally ourselves around eachother. We are so close, it's like we are related.

After our walk we went to Redbox and rented 'Megamind.' Which, for those who don't know is about a blue guy with a ginormous forehead. By the time we finally got to Becca's to watch it it was nearly twelve.

We decided we all needed massages, so we made a chain and did it like in middle school. Then we laid on her bed and semi-watched it while Jacob made obnoxious bodily functions and references to bodily functions. I love them

HOPEFULLY we will all be going on a short trip together in the next couple weeks. HOPEFULLY. Even if it was just us three that would be good.

They are my faves.

chocolate covered expresso beans

i think I have insomnia.

I have been awake until three in the morning for about a week straight. Which is problematic because I have to be at work by ten most mornings. I doubt tonight will be any different, one because its nearly one o'click already, and two, because I forgot it was already midnight and ate a hand full of chocolate covered expresso beans. Who would have thought that a few expresso beans would keep you awake all night? They are better, and probably more effective than any five hour energy shot.

Yes this has a bad word in it, which I am not a fan of. But I want this.

I don't know much about her but I'm kind of infatuated with this girl. Or maybe it's the idea of her that I've created. I found myself thinking about her tonight on a walk under some makeshift constellations struggling through the light pollution of Boston, fleeting thoughts coming and going like New England snowfalls. It's not a lusty, I-want-to-fuck-her kind of deal. I want to hold her close and sing her soft rainstorm melodies and move her in a way that makes her feel unspeakably alive because there's nothing that has touched her to the core like that in a long time. I want to bear my soul to her in the way that symphonies are written, so that at its completion, my story will have completely enveloped her like B minor at the predawn of a snow-covered day, and she'll realize that there is nothing more painfully right than the overlap of the lines on our palms and all the countless intersections of her eyes (beautiful, sun-drenched) and mine. transcendence on Feb 22, 2010 @ 06:21

.

Maybe I should just use '.' as titles to all of my posts. One, so I don't have to think of a witty one, and two, to evoke some type of mysteriousness that invites you to read it. Although I'm pretty positive I might have two people that even bother to do that now.

I don't really know how my summer is going to go. I've decided I'm just going to go with it, roll with the punches, take it one step at a time, an all other phrases that signify that I really have no control over everything.

I am sick of my friends leaving. I miss them ALOT.

Motivation

this is something I have had absolutely ZERO of for the past couple weeks. I'm almost never hungry, I never do anything truely productive, and I have even been too lazy to sit down and write, even though I know it will make me feel better. I'm kind of down in the dumps.

You know what hurts more than being lied to? Telling someone something over and over again, and pouring yourself out to them, and they don't believe you. What do you do in that sitation?

Also, I really REALLY want to take some type of partner fancy dancing class. I need a hobby.

Me and Becca made peach cobbler tonight. I'm so glad for my new friend.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that it hurt? There is nothing I can do about it... probably the reason for my no motivation mode.

I want to read.

Kid Cudi knows my life.

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HERE is where I post something happy.

All Jacob, Ketan, Becca, and I have done for the past week is hang out, play dorky board games, and swim. ALOT.

A couple nights ago 3 of us (minus the Indian) were sitting on beccas floor playing

uno, nines, and scrabble, at midnight. (Is JETI a word?) After midnight EVERYTHING is histerical. After playing scrabble, we were sitting in momentary silence when Becca says, "Have you ever been to factsonfarts.com?!" So... guess what we did for the next half an hour. Yes. Its real. Jacob farted all night.

Tonight, me and Becca played Guess Who and Hang-Man for uite a while. Then we made homemade peach cobbler, then we went to swim at Ketans. Ilove that kid. Both Becca and I are marrying him so that he will tech us his other 4 languages he is fluent in, especially Hindi.

That is an extrememly scattered post. Good Luck.

No plan = My life

My friends will not be here 2 months from now.