Monday, October 31, 2011

''A love story must always be told in two parts. The first part is the desert when there is no rain. There is sadness in the desert. The rocks are beige, plain, unremarkable. Then a storm comes. The water covers the sand at the end of the first part. In the second part, a star explodes. It makes no sound and most of the universe pays no notice. In either part of the story, there is a kind of iconography at work that should be carefully read. For instance,no one on earth has seen this star's light even after it dies. Imagine how far those last little beams travel, how the person they finally reach finally has not a clue they've been touched by a ghost.''

-Charles Jensen

Friday, October 28, 2011

Who woulda thunk?

Who would have thought? I am dating Alex Powell. Today was a very good day. I am happy. Six months ago, I would not have dreamed or believed it had someone told me this was what to become of my future. What?
I wasn't going to let this happen again. The whole, getting attached thing. The letting the other person know you thing. The comfortable thing. The relationship thing.
But, I'm in one. And I am okay. Fantastic actually.

I am in this awesome life group which is lead by two of the most amazing people and role models I know. One night we were on the topic of love and the fallacies we have about it sometimes. Chris said one of the best things the and Erin agreed to do from the moment they started dating was to be COMPLETELY open and honest with each other about any and everything, and to talk all the time.
I told Alex about it, and how I thought we should both think about committing to the same thing. From the past, I think it is the only way to keep a strong relationship where you know you have someone to go to if you need help.

He is so nice.

P.S.- I love my best friend Jacob and Andrew who came to see me at work today. They are simply the best.

Monday, October 17, 2011

i love this

"Shine The Light"

When you walk into the edge of those dark and lonely woods
And when I ask "How was your day?"
You answer "Not so good"
And when nothing seems to be working out quite the way it should....
I will shine the light
When the skies up above you fill with gray and stormy clouds
And there's not a single face you know in the maddening crowd
When you know that you will make your way, but you just can't see how....
I will shine the light
I will shine the light
I will shine the light
I will hold you in my arms until everything's alright
I will shine the light
And when your worries, they won't let you sleep and rob you of your days
And you've looked in all directions but you still can't find your way
Or when you just need someone to remind you that it's all gonna be okay
I will shine the light
I will shine the light
I will shine the light
When you're staring down your demons waiting in your darkest night
I will shine the light
Sometimes we jump into the great unknown
Some roads we're on, we'll have to walk alone
But waiting there in the end is a heart that calls you a friend....
That's me.
Clapping the loudest, welcoming you home
So when your heart is heavy like a stone
From carrying it's load
And you look into the mirror and see someone you don't know
Or when the shadows are closing in on you like a hand around your throat
I will shine the light
I will shine the light
I will shine the light
When you've given into your fear
When you've lost your will to fight
Let me know that I can do
Let me try to make it right
And I will shine the light
I will shine the light

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I am so busy all the time. I love staying busy and staying active, but today, while I was sitting and reading my book for my life group, I realized how busy and "on" my mind actually stays. I am reading the book, Walking with God, for our group. It was a coincidence that RIGHT before I read the section talking about this, that I actually realized how ADD I am.

Our brains are constantly looking for something to do these days. Even when we are 'relaxing,' I especially, let my mind wander to different things like when I'm going to study, or a new work-out, or what time I need to get to the library, or when I'm going to get to the station next. It never stops. I 'read' probably three whole pages in that book before I realized that I had no clue what I had really read, but instead looked up at every car that drove by, and studied all the people in the coffee shop I was in, and just thought about other things than what I was actually trying to focus on.

The book talked about how we have to be still and quiet and actually take time out of our day to slow down and listen to God. I will be first to admit that I don't do this enough. I am always going from one place to another. And when I do have time to just sit, I am planning what I'm going to do next, not spending my time doing something that is actually really valuable, talking to God.
I am working on it.

I love this book.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I'm afraid

Sunday, October 2, 2011



I honestly have never been happier in my entire life than when I was in Tuscaloosa with my department. I can not explain it. I just felt smile-y (If that's something you can feel) all of the time. The entire weekend.
I was on a campus with hundreds of fire fighters. HUNDREDS. What more could you want out of life? Hundreds of people who think just like me and who want to help people and who are a thousand times more experienced than I could ever imagine. It's crazy. I never wanted to leave.

When Matt was driving us to the first morning of 8 a.m. classes, I was SOO nervous. I was worried about being the only beginner and not being able to answer and of the questions and being judged because I was a girl and being the only one from my department in there and not making friends. I AM a beginner, nothing can change that, and I was easily one of the youngest and smallest in the class, but everyone was so friendly and willing to help you in any way they could. I realized the people you work with in your department are not your only brothers. The WHOLE fire fighter community as a whole is like one big family. Even if you don't know eachother. I didn't know anyone in that class going in, but coming out, I had so many new friends from departments all over Alabama.

The first day was just strictly in the classroom learning the different methods, strategies, techniques, and just different stuff about the new technologies they are putting cars now a days that could be potentially destructive to you or the patient you are trying to get out of the entrapped car. I love our instructor. His name was Tommy MacPherson from Brindlee Mountain. He was fantastic! He told the best stories and was just very personable, nice, and definitely knew what he was doing. I learned so much just from the lecture presentation part.
The second day was when we got to go out and do the hands on part. We had SIX cars that we got to play on and cut up! We had almost 35 people in our class, so he split us up into two teams. Even though I am inexperienced about a lot of stuff, I knew, even with the very little training that I had of extrication, that I knew more than a lot of the people in that class. Some of them had never even held the tools you use. The guy that was the designated leader of that class would say "Who wants to do this?" and a lot of the time nobody would step up, so I would! I think I did more than most of the guys that day! On one of our breaks, one of the guys said that it looked like I had quite a bit of experience in that field, and I said no not at all! I just had fabulous teachers and great practice in training! I felt so accomplished, even though my arms are pretty sore today. I LOVED IT. Haha, another plus to being one of the only girls there was you get your lunch paid for :)
All of the guys in my group were great. I could have not have asked for a better group of new people to take that class with. I can not wait to go back next time!